Tuesday, December 6, 2011

JC.. :)

Sleep deprivation is the worst enemy of a (frustrated) writer. I am meaning to write about JC. A 12-year-old boy whom I consider to be my most recent inspiration.

In one serendipitous event, we’ve met a parking boy, named JC. I really can’t consider him to be a beggar, because he really didn’t ask for alms. Eating dinner as usual at KFC, we noticed him eyeing the half full glasses of water on our table. He then approached us and asked if he could have some. We immediately gave it to him, and even offered him the leftover food. He shyly declined, and gulped the water down. We then carried on with our unending rants & raves about the people in our lives, our daily episodes of dismay. For about a split second, we gasped for air. And as if a commercial break in queue, he uttered “thank you”. Sharing a soft spot for street kids who know how to be grateful when given something, we were touched. Especially when we only gave him a (half full) glass of water. READ THIS: TAP WATER!! After a brief conversation with JC, we decided to treat him to dinner at the end of the week (which is apparently, today). We told him to be there at the same spot, at around the same time. After a minute or 2 of debating whether or not we were kidding him, he then agreed, and all of the plans for our “date” were finalized.

On a warm, drizzly, Friday night, we then saw JC again at KFC. He said that he arrived early, and was hiding from his friends (again, we were touched by his gesture. He was hiding because his friends might join us and we’ll be obliged to buy them dinner, as well). He sat across the table, and while waiting for our food, I decided to examine him. I do not mean to be judgmental, but after the snatching incident, I’m now more paranoid than a pot smoker. I threw some questions at him, and he answered with such echt. I felt a twinge of guilt. Here I was, talking to a boy who is barely at his teens, hoping to enlighten him about life, but it turned out to be the other way around. Words coming out the mouth of a tweener were about good manners while eating, passion for animals, and not just pets, per se, about growing up to be a noble servant of the country.. And a whole lot more.. My jaw almost dropped in awe. Figuratively & literally.

I am very much overwhelmed with inspiration that I am able to fight off the urge to sleep. I know that if I let this moment pass, if I let all these thoughts running through my mind just slip to oblivion, I would never EVER forgive myself, for JC is worth writing for. He is worth wasting time to create something out of whatever talent I had. My heart is overflowing with emotion that I want to cry. Really. Somehow, I was ashamed of myself. I’ve been blabbering about making a difference in my own little ways, however, I’ve allowed the rust eating up our society get into my nerves, and I have discarded all my principles. I’ve been constantly talking about the need to be strong & to be positive, however, I’ve allowed people to make me feel unworthy, & for them, I have discarded my principles. But this kid, who grew up in the slums, talked about poverty as a stepping stone to being wealthy. Him, having awoken in the ugly bedside of the world, talked about wanting to be a policeman in order to serve the country.  This 12-year-old boy, having grown up in a financially-challenged family.. Didn’t even seem to mind.

I heave a sigh and contemplate yet again.

As he finished the last couple of spoonfuls of his pasta, he said that his tummy ached. I figured that maybe he hadn’t eaten for hours. I told him that we could have it wrapped so he could just take it home, he said no, food shouldn’t be wasted. Then he continued to chug whatever remained on his plate down.
We didn’t want to end the night without playing the role of big brother & big sister to him, of course. We gave him some pieces of advice before bidding farewell: Study hard, dream big, say no to drugs, blah, blah, blah.. The things that he most probably is already aware of.
We chased him with our gazes as he disappeared in the throng of people and public utility vehicles. For a moment, we were speechless. We then smiled. Mere words can’t describe how or what I felt during dinner. But it really is amazing to have crossed paths with a lost little angel here on Earth.. :)

"Diba lahat naman dumadaan muna sa pagiging mahirap bago yumaman?"

"Diba dapat lahat ng hayop, inaalagaan?"

"Gusto ko maging pulis. Para po makatulong sa bayan.."


Monday, November 28, 2011

Back to the future..

One of my good friends said that she met someone online. She said that she was fun to talk to, witty & she thinks that they would probably get along. I smiled. She hasn’t been seeing someone for the longest time. I asked how things were between them, but she just shrugged and told me that she stopped emailing back. I asked, why? Then she abruptly said: “there was no future”.


The question was on repeat on my head for about 5 seconds. Then on the 6th second, it bursted out on my thought bubble: How the hell do you define something as “no future”?

I am not an authority when it comes to Dating 101, let alone relationships, per se. The serious relationships that I have been in, can be counted in one hand, and I have dated not-so-many people. Then it just struck me. Like a speeding truck down the highway: it’s SUBJECTIVE. So all along, have I just been blinded by the scary thought of how difficult it is to go through life asking “what might’ve been”, “what if we could’ve worked it out”.. You know.. The never ending questions of a clingy, drama queen. Had I snapped out of my idealistic mind, could I have just stopped & prevented everything from happening? The heartaches, the disappointments, the 3rd, 4th, 5th, parties (LOL)? Well, I would’ve saved a truckload of tears & a rust-free tear duct, eh?

And then, for a brief moment, I contemplated. . . . .

Let’s say, I wasn’t the dumb chick – slash – clingy – slash – tearjerk – slash – drama queen that I was. Let’s say, I have been smart enough to have walked away before my disaster-turned relationship(s) were just beginning to rot. Would I have been stronger? Would I have realized things in a brighter light? Or even more, would I have been inspired to write this non-sense now had I been objective? My best guess is of course, no. Hell no.

I admit, head up high, that my relationships have turned into turmoil. But then again, though the ending(s) didn’t turn out to be great, I felt loved & I experienced happiness. I’m not sure if I was just too blinded, but I have already thought of it over and over and over, and without prejudice, I do say that I felt utter bliss. I learned & became tougher. Got wounded & scratched, but all of them are healed, and the newer ones, I know that eventually, they will, too.

So, if defining what “No Future” means is subjective, then so is “being happy”. I cannot rightfully say that I am wiser now, but happier? Yes. Definitely. J

Friday, November 25, 2011

Mi bitches :)

Shoutouts to my fave-st girls. Booze, coffee, shopping, cigarettes, chika til you drop, boys, tears, laughter, & of course to learning to get up with grace even if you fall face down.. I love you til my last breath. Chicks before dicks, eh? :P xo

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Bluer than BLUE

Off shoulder sequined top - Thrifted

Denim Wedges - Thrifted

Got my Starbucks planner. Yippee! :) I picked the Poplar one. :P

Can't wait to jot down my thoughts (as if there are any now.) :P

Bag - bought from an officemate

I just love the fringe & bejeweled heart charms :)

This is definitely my song right now. There's just too much going on, and I dunno where the hell I get my strength from. Everyday just seems to be a constant battle. It's just too damn tiring to play the superhero role ya' know. Sometimes, I just wanna give it up, and grab the damsel in distress facade and put it on. I'm so looking forward to the next month, the next year, and I wish that everything just goes away as the song fades..

Do's & Don'ts

Don't date because you are desperate.
Don't marry because you are miserable.
Don't have kids because your genes are superior.
Don't philander because you think you are irresistable.

Don't associate with people you can't trust.
Don't cheat. Don't lie. Don't pretend.
Don't dictate because you are smarter.
Don't demand because you are stronger.

Don't sleep around because you think you are old enough & know better.
Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder.
Don't sell yourself, your family, or your ideals.
Don't stagnate!

Don't regress.
Don't live in the past. Time can't bring anything or anyone back.
Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr. Right.
Don't throw your life away on absolutely Mr. Wrong because your biological clock is ticking.

Learn a new skill.
Find a new friend.
Start a new career.
Sometimes, there is no race to be won. Only a price to be paid for some of life's more hasty decisions.

To terminate your lonelines, reach out to the homeless.
To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.
To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy.
Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.

To make yourself happy, pursue your passions & be the best of what you can be.
Simplify your life. Take away the clutter.
Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends, nasty habits & dangerous liaisons.
Don't abandon your responsibilities, but don't overdose on duty.

Don't live life recklessly without thinking & feeling for your family.
Be true to yourself.
Don't commit when you are not ready.
Don't keep others waiting needlessly.

Go on that trio. Don't postpone it.
Say those words. Don't let the moment pass.
Do what you have to, even at society's scorn.

Write poetry.
Love deeply.
Walk barefoot.


You think you know, but you have no idea.. :)

In a brief conversation: a man, speaking to a woman was out to purse the question: "what kind of man are you looking for?". She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye & asked; "do you really want to know?". Reluctantly, he said "yes", then she began to expound..

"As a woman in this day & age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can't do for myself. I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man -- or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask 'what can you bring to the table?'"

The man looked at her. Clearly, he thought she was referring to money.

She quickly corrected his thought & stated: "I am not referring to money.. I need something more. I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life."

He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, & asked her to explain. She said; "I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection, mentally. I need conversation & mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man. I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection, spiritually, because I don't need to be unequally yoked. Believers mixed with non-believers is a recipe for disaster. I need a man who is striving for perfection, financially, because I don't need a financial.. BURDEN.
I am looking for someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded.
I am looking for someone who I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problems in being submissive. He just has to be worthy. God made women to be a helpmate for men. At this point, I can't help a man who can't help himself.."

When she finished her spiel, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face & exclaimed; "you're asking for a whole lot!".

To which she gracefully replied; "Only if you think I'm not worth a lot..".


Saturday, November 19, 2011

INK'D :)

Tattoos are one of those things that you take to the grave. Having tattoos does not make someone a delinquent or a thug: it's ART! Art is all about self-expression & creativity. Some people hang their art, we WEAR ours. :)

More tats in the near future!! :)

Saturday, November 12, 2011

in MY eyes..

No edits. Just raw shots.

Friday, November 11, 2011

An ode to my Zebra..

I hate to be negative but I just hate this day. There were endless posts on Facebook & Twitter that today is a lucky day.

My usual route to work is a jeepney ride to Guadalupe then take the 5-10 minute walk along the bridge to Pioneer. I never had any problems before. I've taken this route for almost half a year now. I really liked it cuz in my line of work, I barely do anything physical, so this much is the only exercise my skinny body can get in a day.

I was walking, music blasting through my earphones. Flickering a cigarette on my right hand. Then bam! I felt someone grab my bag. I turned & struggled to get it back. He then ran across EDSA. I wanted to run after him, but my eyes squinted because of the headlights of the vehicles approaching. I just chased him with my teary-eyed, shocked, stare.
There weren't a lot of people there, I think. Everything passed by like a blur. I was yelling & cursing & shaking. I called a friend, and was scared that the guy might see me holding my phone and that he might run back at me and get it.

Crazy shit. When I calmed down, I realized that I was still lucky, by far. I should still be thankful 'cuz he only took my bag. He didn't hurt me. Didn't poke me with something, or point a gun or a knife at me. Yeah at least I wasn't hurt. Except for the tiny wound on my pinky, probably because of the attempt to salvage my bag.

Oh well. Thank the universe still that I am but all in one, skinny piece. Goodbye to my zebra, though. We haven't spent that much time, no adventures yet, but you will definitely occupy a special place in my heart.



How's the weather there?

If you've been working in the call center industry for the longest time, you will be fighting the urge to laugh everytime you hear that phrase..

Anyway, it got a little bit colder the past few days (well, it always has been cold at work), and I was never really a fan of it ever since until recently. Summer excites me more than anything.

Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em, eh? So I took advantage of the weather and wore my knitted dress. :P

Multicolored dress (thrifted), Bejeweled bag (gift), Pumps (Celine)

PS but now, all of a sudden, the cold breeze disappeared! Anyareeeeee? :P

My New Baby.. :)

One of the items that was on my to-do list was to find a pair of boots.

And lookie what me found :P

Got this from a thriftshop in Makati in one impromptu session with my girl, Joh. You won't believe how much it was, I tell you. :P

You'll be seeing a lotta shots with these babies henceforth.. :)


Thursday, November 10, 2011


Whirlwind romances, attachment issues, emotional rollercoasters..

The butterflies that flutter in your stomach are hard to contain. The smile that has been plastered on your face, the twinkle in your eyes..

It damn feels wonderful, needless to say. It's just that..


The hardships of being in a relationship that isn't one. Getting stuck in an invisible trap. You don't see it, but you feel it.. Yet it's not really there..

The constant cycle of buts & what ifs & the ongoing battles between being too emotional & sparing your pride. 'Cuz that's the only thing you have left aside from your injured heart. You then come face to face with the obvious fact that sooner or later, it would have to stop. The sooner the better; everybody imperatively says. Your injured heart won't have any choice but to endure more pain, despite how badly damaged it already is.

So here you go again, walking around the never-ending maze of one-way love. History never fails to keep repeating itself. So after being drowned on your own river of tears & having exceeded your maximum alcohol tolerance, you won't have any choice. NONE AT ALL.

The only choice left is to put your head up & face another day. Be contented & happy.. for yourself, BY YOURSELF..

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Denim Mayhem..

My entire life, denim jeans have been lurking inside my closet. As I've mentioned before, I was the safe type of dresser. I was too scared to try something new, mix & match items, stuff like that. So the number of jeans I had can probably last me for about a month or 2. LOL

I wasn't ready for abrupt change, so I decided to stick to denim. In jackets and shoes, that is. :P

**Did you know: that denim trousers where originally intended to be worn for work? Traditionally, it was made of 100% cotton, but over the years, it has gotten mixed with other different materials, like spandex, for one.**

Denim Wedges: Thrifted
Denim Jacket: DKNY, thrifted
Zebra Print Sequined Bag: Thrifted

Monday, October 17, 2011

Been hella busy..

Here's a daily glimpse of myself at work. Getting crazy over the backlogs. Ugh!

Goodnight :)

Friday, September 16, 2011

Ho hum..

My train of thought hasn't been that impressive for the longest time. I recently followed The Capricious Club, and again, I am s0o0o0o0o inspired, and at the same time, dying with envy. Envious because of the fact that my writing skills suck. Bigtime. Ugh. (There really are times that I feel that I have a knack in writing, and feel that I'm doing good, then I read others' posts, and then get jealous of their talent. Poor me. Arte lang. LOL)

I started reading from the oldest ones (well, I followed her a week or so ago and didn't get to browse those :P), and I have stumbled upon some of her posts about having dilemma/s on wearing what you want vs. what other people would think. And it just made me realize that that was one of the major reasons why I was ever so scared to experiment with my clothes (the weather is just on 2nd place :P).

For me, your clothes, or your style more importantly, just like the other things that matter to you, should have a story to tell. No matter how cliche-ish this may sound, what you wear/how you wear it reflects your personality, or maybe a part of it.

I always thought that I wouldn't/shouldn't care less to/of what most people think of me, but it just hit me, that there was still this part of me that was a scaredy cat from other people's opinions. And, that part of me, has just been thrown out the door, this very moment. :)

♥ ♥ ♥ Pardon any errrors. I am way too sleepy to proofread this. :P

"Remember that always dressing in understated good taste is as good as playing dead.."

**Boyfriend Shirt: Baclaran **Yellow Shirt: Divisoria **Skinny Jeans: St. Francis **Pumps: Landmark

ZzzzZZzzZzzZz. LOL

Thursday, September 15, 2011


Have you ever wondered what it's like to be a spy? Or an assassin? Kicking serious a**, firing & dismantling guns, you know, all those undercover stuff. I've always did, that's why when I saw the trailer of Nikita, I was oh-so-thrilled.

The story revolves around Division, a secret, government-funded organization that has eventually performed operations out of their own gain, rather that what they claim: to serve their country. They recruit young people with troubled backgrounds, whom they train to be their agents. And their expertise: hand to hand combat, fire arms, infiltration, extraction, assassination. Nikita, a Division agent gone rogue, has devised a plan to take the black ops unit down, especially Percy, the man behind all the evil.

After 3 years of hiding, she has finally resurfaced. She trained Alex, a young woman she saved from the dark world of drug addiction & sex labor, to be her mole, and together, they will tear Division apart, piece by piece, mission by mission.

The series stars Maggie Q, as Nikita. The best agent in Division, and who was the first to get out of the organization. Ready to fight, but is hot, beautiful, and in style all the time; the attributes of a perfect spy..

I've read some reviews about Maggie being not fit for the role, but I beg to disagree. The girl really does good with the fight scenes (I've read that 98% of her stunts were all done by herself!), she actually has been trained by Jackie Chan at the young age of 17. She also is an epitome of gorgeousness (is there even such a word? LOL), and is oozing with sex appeal, some kinda like an Asian version of Angelina Jolie (well, for me she is). She definitely gave justice to the role, from having starred in action movies like Naked Weapon, Live Free or Die Hard, and Mission Impossible III, I bet playing Nikita hasn't been that much of a challenge for her anymore.

Another lead character is Shane West, playing the role of Michael, who was Nikita's trainer inside Division, someone she truly trusts. Upon Nikita's escape, he eventually leads the taskforce to take her down, but of course, he had trained her very well that he himself had a hard time catching her, or maybe he just let her get away everytime? Following a series of events, they wind up in each other's arms, and hand in hand, they will share the same goal: destroy Percy's black boxes and bring Division to hell. At first, I really didn't think that he & Maggie would click because they didn't seem to have chemistry. Probably because they didn't have much scenes together during the earlier part of Season 1, and it seemed like Michael was wanted to hit on Alex (Lyndsy Fonseca), Nikita's protege.
Season 2 recently started, and too bad I'm not able to watch it yet because of work. Wish that DVDs would soon come out so I can do my Nikita marathon every weekend. :)