Monday, November 28, 2011

Back to the future..

One of my good friends said that she met someone online. She said that she was fun to talk to, witty & she thinks that they would probably get along. I smiled. She hasn’t been seeing someone for the longest time. I asked how things were between them, but she just shrugged and told me that she stopped emailing back. I asked, why? Then she abruptly said: “there was no future”.

NO FUTURE??

The question was on repeat on my head for about 5 seconds. Then on the 6th second, it bursted out on my thought bubble: How the hell do you define something as “no future”?

I am not an authority when it comes to Dating 101, let alone relationships, per se. The serious relationships that I have been in, can be counted in one hand, and I have dated not-so-many people. Then it just struck me. Like a speeding truck down the highway: it’s SUBJECTIVE. So all along, have I just been blinded by the scary thought of how difficult it is to go through life asking “what might’ve been”, “what if we could’ve worked it out”.. You know.. The never ending questions of a clingy, drama queen. Had I snapped out of my idealistic mind, could I have just stopped & prevented everything from happening? The heartaches, the disappointments, the 3rd, 4th, 5th, parties (LOL)? Well, I would’ve saved a truckload of tears & a rust-free tear duct, eh?

And then, for a brief moment, I contemplated. . . . .

Let’s say, I wasn’t the dumb chick – slash – clingy – slash – tearjerk – slash – drama queen that I was. Let’s say, I have been smart enough to have walked away before my disaster-turned relationship(s) were just beginning to rot. Would I have been stronger? Would I have realized things in a brighter light? Or even more, would I have been inspired to write this non-sense now had I been objective? My best guess is of course, no. Hell no.

I admit, head up high, that my relationships have turned into turmoil. But then again, though the ending(s) didn’t turn out to be great, I felt loved & I experienced happiness. I’m not sure if I was just too blinded, but I have already thought of it over and over and over, and without prejudice, I do say that I felt utter bliss. I learned & became tougher. Got wounded & scratched, but all of them are healed, and the newer ones, I know that eventually, they will, too.

So, if defining what “No Future” means is subjective, then so is “being happy”. I cannot rightfully say that I am wiser now, but happier? Yes. Definitely. J

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